Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Sex and the City Can Teach Us (But Probably Won't)

I'm going to give the writers of the inexplicably overrated and mostly moronic television series/movie Sex and the City the benefit of the doubt: I'm going to assume that the characters Charlotte, --the oh-so-wholesome girl next door who spends her entire life either a.) whining about wanting a husband b.) whining about wanting a child c.) fetching a husband of child, or d.) gushing obnoxiously about how happy they both make her--and Samantha, the 40something "nymphomaniac" whose preference of do-em'-ditch-em' sex over monogamous relationships is almost refreshing, as cultural symbolism. I'm going to assume that the entire purpose of having these two characters interact with one another, despite their personal differences, is to illustrate the classicly epic battles of two seperate entities. You see, ladies and gents, it isnt just Charlotte vs. Samantha, that exist in these cliched, badly written scenes. It is conservatism vs. liberalism. It is ancient vs. modern. Marriage vs. singledom. Good vs. evil. And, of course, it is feminism vs. patriarchy.

And while i know the only reason the S.&T.C writers created Samantha is because she gave a good excuse to shoot a tacky graphic sex scene every 30 seconds, the logic behind my theories are still supported.

Because for every quasi-feminist, sex-obsessed Samantha that exists in America, there will a Charlotte, vowing to hang herself by the sheets of her JC Penny canopy bed if she isn't hitched by age 30. These women seem to flock to their appropriate piles and branch off into the two opposing camps:

Camp # 1. The Charlotte camp. --This one is usually a mix of brainwashing via housewife mother and Billy Graham television programs. Even if they aren't religious, these women believe that her body should be cherished and respected in a Holy fashion. This undoubtedly means: a.) No sex until marriage so that on your wedding night, your new-fangled hubby will be so profoundly impressed with your incredible ability to keep your legs closed, that he will never tell you that he just slept with your best friend at the bridal shower and may have a hefty case of Chlamydia. b.) No sex on the first date, because a man will be so impressed with your incredible ability to keep your legs closed (in the name of respect!) that he will never tell you that he slipped a roofie into your chardonnay at the dinner party. Or c.) No mastubation or impure thoughts, as this may lead to violation of rules one and two, not to mention the eternal damnation and shame that should face you for reaching sexual satisfaction without aid from a dilapidated penis. These are women who take Cosmopolitan quizzes that tell them if they may be too aggressive (or bitchy or apathetic or arrogant or outspoken) to get a man, (The answer, is always, "yes") they use cheesy cliches for their virginity, like, "flower petals" or "gift of virtue" and lecture hookers on the importance of letting her flower grow until the right man comes along to pick it. They are women who cannot fathom a life where a man does not control it, run it, make it, or destroy it. They are, frankly, utter morons.

Camp #2, the Samantha Camp, is, predictably, the opposite. They are wild and untamed. They are women who go up to men in the bars to set a time and a place. They say "fuck" more times than they say "making love", they are single, and they like it, because they don't have to answer to anyone (and wouldn't even so). They use men like men use women, as physical tools of sexual desire, but can only ever be sluts when they do. They make married women nervous, make them curiously question their husbands whereabouts and check pants pockets for phone numbers. They are women subjected to, "dont you ever want to get married?" questions and have to, exhaustedly, perpetually, come up with an answer. They are women who get jobs and statuses, and lives that don't revolve around a man, they learn to change their own tires and pay their own rent. They are free and absolutely, undeniably, unstoppable. And they are feminists.

The only trouble is, like the women of Sex and the City, there are still far too many who start out wanting to be Charlotte, and always end up happier as Samantha.

1 comment:

Felicity said...

Although I watched Sex in the City for the first few episodes, I loved the clothes and fashion, what the characters wore, I started to get bored with Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha and Carrie. Charlotte lived a pretendous life, sticking by the 'rules', Miranda wanted to be a man, Samantha was a high class prostitute, Carrie was a high class whore. Which was cleverly done, look at us, we are rich and what fantastic lives we are living. The reality is these girls were a mess, they were silly women and women who watched them and suddenly wanted to live lives like them. Charlotte would have ended up in therapy and the other three would have ended up suffering for sexual transmitted diseases, it doesn't matter how many condoms, they used. Feminism was supposed to give us the right to vote, the right to equal education, rights in the laws, in marriage and when we get divorced, and how women should regard themselves with respect, not we will behave like men, or drink like men, or have sex like men, we are not men. We think differently from men, we have different hormones, men have linear thinking, women have multitask thinking, we are supposed to complement each other. At the end of the day, the majority of women want to settle down, get married and have children, so do men. Most women want faithful men, and most men want faithful women. That is why men are running from women like the Sex in the City lot, because they are nutters, these people are spiritually dead, women are running from the mad men too. There are women who do live like the characters and they end up lonely, do you know how many lonely people are in London, after a while many end up committing suicide. I have always wondered why there is a now a large amount of interracial relationships, because people want real people, who are not obsessed with material things, like the perfect white house and the perfect furniture, one good thing about the women, was the friendship. An excellent couple are Barack and Michelle Obama, Michelle is educated, beautiful respectful and that is why the media want to tear her at any opportunity, because they like to put up whore and whore mongers as our role models, the writer of Sex in the City was very clever, she realised she could make money from writing about whores and whore mongers, hence the show on UK television, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, also in Blogging land, the Secret Diary of X, she was another whore. It seems to me that everyone wants to write about their sex life and call it feminism, in UK street language, 'You lot are a bunch of slappers mate' and when you tell them that they get upset, but that is what they are.